UVALDE — Makenna Elrod didn’t want her big sister Kadence Kubish to graduate from high school and go off to college. She wrote this in a letter she handed her “sissy” in the Robb Elementary hallway on May 23.
That morning’s senior walk at Robb was full of excitement and possibility. Robb Elementary kids treated the Uvalde High School seniors like celebrities. There were cheers, high-fives, letters and candy. It was a celebratory day full of life.
Kadence, 17, could hear Makenna, 10, call to her in the hall outside her classroom — “Sissy. Sissy. Sissy. Sissy!” — but she struggled to find her little sister in a sea of elementary students and seniors in maroon caps and gowns.
Finally, Makenna tugged on Kadence’s gown.
On ExpressNews.com: Remembering the lives lost in Uvalde
They hugged. They posed for a photo. And Makenna handed her the letter. As Kadence walked away, she could hear Makenna tell her friends: “This is my sissy! This is my sister!”
Kadence holds a note that Makenna gave her during the senior walk held at Robb Elementary the day before the May 24 massacre. Graduating seniors, including Kadence, dressed in their cap and gowns walked the halls of Robb Elementary while being cheered on by giggling second, third and fourth graders. The note from Makenna said she wishes her sister would have failed the STAAR test so she could stay home, instead of moving away for college. “I love you. I do not want you to move…why do you have good grades?”
Despite her dyslexia, Makenna wrote a lot of letters and stories about family, friends, life and love. Busy with senior class fun and life, Kadence merely glanced at the front of this letter.
And then came May 24. Makenna was one of 19 children and two teachers murdered at Robb Elementary School. Mourning and grieving, shocked by the massacre, Kadence remembered the letter and read her little sister’s words:
“I love you I do not want you to move I want to see you evre day why do you have to have good grae’s Becuse you can get a 20 on your ster test and you can stey with me I’am going to miss you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much I love you so much! Love you - makenna to: sis”
Sixteen hand-drawn hearts filled the page.
Now, Kadence — and the whole family — treasure this letter and cling to it, a symbol of Makenna’s youthful light in a dark world.
On June 24, one month after the massacre, Kadence was finally graduating. But there was no graduation party. There will be no summer vacation. Life without Makenna hurts too much.
On graduation day, it seemed the whole town showed up, some people wearing Uvalde Strong T-shirts, to fill the home stands at the Honey Bowl stadium. The day was heavy. The 100-degree heat was oppressive.
On ExpressNews.com: One month after Uvalde school shooting: A graduation ceremony steeped in loss, resiliency
Kadence’s and Makenna’s parents — April Elrod, a teacher at another Uvalde elementary school, and Jacob Kubish, the Uvalde CISD maintenance supervisor — have raised their six children from previous marriages together for about five years.
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Kadence Kubish embraces friends in the parking lot of Honey Bowl Stadium following the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony, Friday night, June 24, 2022. The entire day was marked with moments of joy and sadness for Kadence, who celebrated a big milestone while also mourning the loss of her 10-year-old step-sister Makenna, who was killed in the Robb Elementary massacre exactly one month before.
Graduates prepare to walk to their seats at the start of the graduation ceremony honoring 302 seniors from Uvalde High School, Uvalde Early College High School and Crossroads Academy at Honey Bowl Stadium, Friday evening, June 24, 2022. The event was originally set for May 27, but the May 24 mass shooting at Robb Elementary School that killed 19 children and two teachers caused the ceremony to be rescheduled. Seniors were not required to attend the ceremony to receive their diploma and added security measures were taken to make residents more comfortable.
Graduates process to their seats at the start of the graduation ceremony honoring 302 seniors from Uvalde High School, Uvalde Early College High School and Crossroads Academy at Honey Bowl Stadium, Friday evening, June 24, 2022. The event was originally set for May 27, but the May 24 mass shooting at Robb Elementary School caused the ceremony to be rescheduled.
A large crowd sits on the home side of Honey Bowl Stadium for the Uvalde Consolidated Independent School District graduation ceremony honoring 302 graduates from Uvalde High School, Uvalde Early College High School and Crossroads Academy in Uvalde, Texas, Friday evening, June 24, 2022. The event was originally set for May 27, but the May 24 mass shooting at Robb Elementary School that killed 19 children and two teachers caused the ceremony to be rescheduled. Seniors were not required to attend the ceremony to receive their diploma and added security measures were taken to make residents more comfortable.
Jacob Kubish, center, jokingly requests that his daughter Kadence cover up her legs with her graduation gown as he takes pictures of her which draws laughs from her sister Cayden, step-mom April and friend Libby. The family met up outside of Honey Bowl Stadium to take pictures and share hugs after the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony.
Graduates process to their seats at the start of the graduation ceremony honoring 302 seniors from Uvalde High School, Uvalde Early College High School and Crossroads Academy at Honey Bowl Stadium, Friday evening, June 24, 2022. The event was originally set for May 27, but the May 24 mass shooting at Robb Elementary School caused the ceremony to be rescheduled.
People attending the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony point out graduates in a Class of 2022 class picture that was printed on laminated fans, Friday evening, June 24, 2022. The fans were handed out to combat the 100 degree heat.
April Elrod comforts her 13-year-old daughter Cayden as they are both overcome by emotion following the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony at Honey Bowl Stadium, Friday, June 24, 2022. The event was bittersweet, as the Elrod-Kubish family celebrated 17-year-old Kadence’s graduation while mourning the loss of 10-year-old Makenna exactly one month after the Robb Elementary mass shooting.
Briar Kubish, 7, and her stepbrother Holden Elrod, 8, eat lunch at the table in their living room, where a memorial photo of their 10-year-old sibling Makenna Elrod is displayed. Makenna was one of 19 school children who were killed in the May 24 massacre at Robb Elementary in Uvalde.
April Elrod receives a hug from her 8-year-old son Holden Elrod as they share memories about Makenna, one of 19 school children who were killed at Robb Elementary on May 24. On the day of the shooting, Holden, also a Robb Elementary student, escaped the school physically unharmed while April was on lock down inside her first grade classroom at Dalton Elementary, another Uvalde school.
A note left on the bottom of Kadence’s full length mirror by Makenna reads “I love you, the best sis ever.” Seventeen-year-old Kadence said 10-year-old Makenna often left hidden notes for her family to find in their backpacks, cars and throughout the house.
Kadence Kubish tries on her graduation cap as she continues preparing for the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony, Friday afternoon June 24. She put a homemade charm with a picture of her step-sister Makenna on her tassel and decorated the top of her cap as a tribute to the 10-year-old who died in the May 24 massacre.
April Elrod receives a hug from her 13-year-old daughter Cayden Seiler as they share memories about 10-year-old Makenna at their home Friday, June 24. “We miss her,” Elrod said. “My whole body aches for her. We miss her every day. There’s a hole.”
Holden Elrod, 8, and Cayden Seiler, 13, help their stepsister Kadence adjust her robe before leaving for the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony in Uvalde, Friday, June 24, 2022.
Cayden Seiler, 13, watches her stepsister Kadence Kubish, 17, get ready for her graduation ceremony, Friday, June 24, 2022. The teens are close, often sharing clothes and make up with each other.
Cayden Seiler, 13, from left, fist-bumps Kadence Kubish, 17, before posing for a portrait with their siblings Briar Kubish, 7, and Cailey Seiler, 15, at their farmstead home in Uvalde, Friday, June 24, 2022.
Jacob Kubish, center, talks about his stepdaughter Makenna as he sits between his stepdaughter Cayden Seiler, 13, left, and daughter Briar Kubish, 7, at their home in Uvalde, Friday, June 24, 2022.
Cailey, 13, and Holden, 8, wait for the rest of their family to finish getting dressed at their home Friday, June 24, 2022, before leaving for Kadence’s graduation ceremony.
Sisters Kadence Kubish, 17, Makenna Elrod, 10, poe for a photograph during Senior walk by to Uvalde graduating class to Robb Elementary School. This photograph was taken the day before the shooting at Robb Elementary School. Teacher Eva Mireles is at back left.
They live on a Uvalde farm homestead with six dogs, chickens, two rabbits, two guinea pigs, a cat and a leopard gecko.
Kadence, a blonde, blue-eyed cheerleader who works as a gymnastics coach and as manager of a nutrition shake store, was graduating with honors. A top-10 percent student, she adorned her cap to honor Makenna: Purple flowers for Makenna’s favorite color. Makenna’s photo affixed to a tassel charm.
The family did its best to focus on Kadence’s graduation. This was her day and they were proud. But grief — the absence of Makenna — was inescapable.
“We miss her,” April Elrod said. “My whole body aches for her. We miss her every day. There’s a hole.”
This hole can’t be filled, but Makenna’s family has found comfort where it can: A fluffy new cat, June. Makenna’s initials and a purple butterfly now tattooed on Jacob’s arm. Eighteen bears from Build-a-Bear that have Makenna’s voice saying, “I love you.” A letter from her friend Maya Zamora, who was injured in the shooting, reminding Makenna not to forget to bring more homemade deer jerky to school.
Jacob Kubish shows off the tattoo he recently got to honor his 10-year-old step-daughter Makenna on his bicep. It features her initials MLE and a purple butterfly. Makenna loved butterflies and her family plans to build a backyard butterfly garden in her honor.
Kadence often wept when she spoke of Makenna. But on this day, she found strength to experience moments of joy. She took selfies, danced and hugged.
She spoke of her promising new start at Texas A&M University-San Antonio, where she was awarded a full scholarship plus acceptance into the Presidents Leadership Class, another $1,000 per semester. She will move into a dorm next month.
Jacob lamented how they had lost Makenna — and how Kadence would be moving away. In a way, he reflected Makenna’s letter.
“We are happy that she’s graduating but sure not happy about her going. You know?” Jacob said, his voice breaking. “I mean, Kadence is moving off and Makenna’s not here, and I just don’t know.”
When Jacob’s parents tried to take a group photo with Kadence before she left for the graduation ceremony, 8-year-old Holden Elrod, Makenna’s younger brother, stalled and cried.
“Let’s be happy for sissy,” Jacob said, his voice breaking.
Kadence, wearing her cap and gown, hugged and comforted Holden.
Kadence Kubish shares a laugh with her stepbrother Holden Elrod while trying to persuade him to take a family photo before leaving for her high school graduation ceremony, Friday, June 24, 2022. A moment before Kadence comforted Holden as he cried at the thought of her leaving for college. “Hey, any time you are missing her, we’ll get in the truck and go to San Antonio so we can see her, I promise,” Jacob told Holden.
Before the ceremony, Kadence and her family sat in their living room, photos of their blended family displayed under the words, “Better together. This is us.”
They spoke of memories good, funny and lovely — of what made Makenna extraordinary.
April cried as she looked at Makenna’s class photo. She pointed out Makenna and other children killed: Alithia Ramirez, Eliahna Garcia, Amerie Jo Garza, Tess Mata, Jailah Silguero, Nevaeh Bravo, Jacklyn Cazares, Maranda Mathis and Maite Rodriguez.
It wasn’t surprising Makenna gave her big sister a letter before graduation.
The child, who took 30 extra minutes to leave softball games because she had to hug everyone goodbye, often wrote letters and stories. After Makenna’s death, her family found some letters they hadn’t seen. As they read these letters, they laughed, cried, remembered.
Kadence had this part of a letter memorized: “My sissy is so beautiful. I think she’s more beautiful than me — and I’m beautiful, so she must be one good lookin’ lady!”
There was a gushing “love story” Makenna wrote about her boyfriend.
Kadence Kubish embraces her 7-year-old sister Briar Kubish as they sit in their living room, Friday afternoon, June 24, 2022. The day marked a month since the May 24 massacre at Robb Elementary that killed 19 school children and 2 teachers, including their 10-year-old step-sister Makenna. It was also the day of Kadence’s rescheduled high school graduation ceremony.
“I like a boy. ... He is so cute. His hair is so soft and perfect. We are so cute together. He said he wanted to be my boyfriend and I said yes so standing here right now today, we are right here together and I am so happy.”
There was a poem April struggled to read: “To mom from Makenna. The poem of me and you. I love you so much. I cannot let you go. And you are the best mom ever in the Earth. I love you so much mom. You are the best. I love you mom.”
Again and again, the family returned to moments before, during and after the shooting. Even the most insignificant moments — like a trip to the store for bubbles the morning of the shooting — now loomed huge.
“Mom, tomorrow is Bubble Day. I need bubbles,” Makenna had said the night before the shooting, on their drive home from her softball game.
April told Makenna they would wake up early to get them before school. But Makenna didn’t want to go to bed, and she kept running into her mom’s room and giving her “the biggest, wettest kisses.”
“Don’t you wipe it off!” Makenna told her after the final kiss of the night.
April remembers hearing the patter of her daughter’s feet.
The next morning, heading to H-E-B to get those bubbles, Makenna said she dreaded summer school. April held her daughter’s hand. Summer school would pass quickly, she said.
April told Makenna and Holden she loved them and to have a good day. She watched Makenna walk away, her backpack heavy with a giant bottle of bubbles. A box of four doughnuts in her hands. Makenna stopped to greet everyone.
April teaches at Dalton Elementary School. When she received the alert for a lockdown, she assumed it was an immigration alert. She did her best to keep her first-graders busy, but she was terrified for Makenna and Holden.
April received a text from Holden’s teacher. He was safe. She kept texting and calling Makenna, but heard nothing. She and another teacher, Veronica Mata, mother of Tess Mata, drove separately to Robb to find their children.
In the maintenance office, Jacob heard there were shots fired at Robb and arrived at the school at 11:53 a.m., delivering the keys to law enforcement. April was calling him, he said, “and I’m just looking at everything and saying, ‘This is crazy here.’ I didn’t even know what to say. I just kept telling her, ‘Baby, it’s crazy here.’”
Pictured in a Robb Elementary School class photo are teacher Irma Garcia, far left, and at far right, co-teacher Eva Mireles. Pictured in the back row and standing left to right are Noah Orona, Samuel Salinas, Maddox Ruiz, Maranda Mathis, Maite Rodriguez, AJ Rodriguez and Kendall Olivarez. In the middle row pictured left to right are Jordan Olivarez, Mayah Zamora, Nevaeh Bravo, Jailah Silguero, Jacklyn Cazares and Makenna Elrod. In the front row pictured left to right are Alithia Ramirez, Eliahna Garcia, Amerie Garza, Tess Mata and Gilbert Mata.
Later, at the funeral home across the street from Robb Elementary, near where the shooter crashed his vehicle, Jacob checked out a small covered body on ice. “I just had to look to make sure it wasn’t Makenna. And it wasn’t,” he said. “For a second, I was relieved, you know?”
April went to Uvalde Memorial Hospital and initially found similar relief in a sea of chaos and sadness. “They were calling out names, and I was relieved that she wasn’t there, and I was like, ‘Oh, thank goodness she’s not here. She hasn’t been shot,’” April said.
But she couldn’t find Makenna.
Time passed and Makenna’s sisters and brother waited at their aunt’s house. As they watched the news for updates, her 15-year-old sister, Cailey Seiler, tracked Makenna’s Apple Watch and saw it had never left the classroom.
It was 10 p.m. when April, Jacob, and Makenna’s father, Chris Seiler, learned Makenna was dead.
Her body was found, along with three other children, in the embrace of her teacher, Irma Garcia. The gunshots went through Garcia’s chest and then Makenna’s.
“It gives me a little bit of peace knowing she was being held and Mrs. Garcia was praying with them and that she went from being held and loved by her teacher to Heaven’s gate,” April said.
Makenna was buried on June 4 in a long purple dress. Butterflies, which Makenna loved, were on her purple casket. The family released butterflies that clung to their clothes.
Now, the family is focused on taking the next step, however small or big or vulnerable it is.
“We don’t have to move on or move past this or whatever — we just have to keep moving,” Jacob said.
The week of Kadence’s graduation, Jacob, an Army veteran and hunter, returned to work. On the first day, seeing his office just as he left it the day of the shooting hit him hard. And as the maintenance supervisor, there are constant reminders of Robb.
“Talk is everywhere about it,” he said. “Moving stuff from there, taking stuff from there. I had six pallets of toys and stuff I had to go deliver for the kids from Robb. It’s constant.”
Kadence Kubish tries on her graduation cap as she continues preparing for the Uvalde High School graduation ceremony, Friday afternoon June 24. She put a homemade charm with a picture of her step-sister Makenna on her graduation tassel and decorated the top of her cap as a tribute to the 10-year-old who died in the May 24 massacre.
Sometimes he can only work for a few hours. Sometimes it’s just for a few days a week.
Kadence’s graduation was another step.
Kadence said at first, when the school canceled graduation, she didn’t care.
“I was like, if she wasn’t going to be there, then I really didn’t care to do it,” she said.
But she changed her mind, saying it felt “wrong” to not take part in the graduation because of the tragedy.
“We can’t change our entire life and the way we live because somebody did something and ruined so many families,” she said.
Sitting on her bed adjusting her cap, her voice trembled and her eyes filled with tears.
“I just wish she got the chance to do all the things we will get to do,” she said.
Her voice strengthened as she spoke of her faith.
Kadence’s graduation cap and gown were a tribute to her step-sister Makenna, one of 19 school children killed in the Robb Elementary massacre on May 24.
“I’ve always believed, but I wasn’t very strong in my walk with God and my faith and that kind of thing, but after all this, it’s like something that’s really been helping me,” she said. “If there’s anywhere besides here with us that I’d want her to be, that’s where I’d want her to be — with God. And that’s where she’s at. I know she is.”
The family credits Makenna for their stronger faith. A few months before her death, Makenna was asking about God. She downloaded a Bible app and said she wanted to be baptized. She often belted out “The Lion and the Lamb” in the shower.
One touchstone for the family is thinking of how Makenna would want them to live. She’d want them to focus on their love and faith. She’d want them to feel the words in her graduation letter to Kadence.
“It’s all that’s been getting us through,” April said. “It makes no sense why this happened, but one day we will know.”
“We have more love between us than you can ever imagine. There’s tons of love in this house,” Jacob said. “And we have faith that Makenna’s in that place that she’d been singing about.”
Nancy M. Preyor-Johnson is an award-winning journalist and former teacher. She holds a master's degree from the University of Texas at San Antonio in Educational Leadership & Policy Studies. A native of the South Texas town of Mathis, she has a bachelor's degree in communications from Texas A&M University-Kingsville.